America

You wouldn’t know it from Tom Ford’s entourage, but apparently the fashion industry saw a downturn in the past few months, with sales flagging well into the holidays. But thank heaven for the financial press. *Fortune* has figured out the problem and help is on the way in the form of a trend piece. The headline? Boring Fashion Hurts Economy.

Of course, the fashion industry has always been the engine of America’s prosperity, so there’s only one conclusion to draw: your deep v-neck tee is a threat to our nation. And of course…

The Single-Button Blazer weakens wartime machismo.

The Single-Button Blazer weakens wartime machismo.

The Stovepipe Trouser Erodes our pleated heritage.

The Stovepipe Trouser Erodes our pleated heritage.

The Shawl Collar skeeves out our allies.

The Shawl Collar skeeves out our allies.

Project Runway requires no explanation.

Project Runway requires no explanation

—R.B.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Russell Brandom