Striped Shirts Are Hurting America
You wouldn’t know it from Tom Ford’s entourage, but apparently the fashion industry saw a downturn in the past few months, with sales flagging well into the holidays. But thank heaven for the financial press. *Fortune* has figured out the problem and help is on the way in the form of a trend piece. The headline? Boring Fashion Hurts Economy.
Of course, the fashion industry has always been the engine of America’s prosperity, so there’s only one conclusion to draw: your deep v-neck tee is a threat to our nation. And of course…
The Single-Button Blazer weakens wartime machismo.
The Stovepipe Trouser Erodes our pleated heritage.
The Shawl Collar skeeves out our allies.
Project Runway requires no explanation.
- — Russell Brandom