Numbers don’t lie. Even when it comes to the highly abstract world of Fashion (yes, capital “F”). And the latest study proving this is the ominously titled “The Most and Least Fashionable Cities in America.”

Internet, take note: Orange County, CA—the mythical land whose economy is almost entirely propped up by Botox and reality television, where “cougar” is still used unironically, the sole reason Christian Audigier is still in business—is home to the most fashionable people in America. All right, it’s not as apocalyptic as we’re making it sound. The findings are interesting if not predictable, so let’s take a closer look at the infographic to understand why your city (or NYC, for that matter) hasn’t been crowned “Most Fashionable” this go-round.

 

 

 

The numbers are based purely on purchases made. To even register on this chart, a household needs to have bought four items from a “top-end designer.” (We’ll assume they’re only including labels that show at Fashion Week). In other words, this doesn’t translate into “fashionable” as much as it does “concerned with having a recognizably expensive name on your label.” With all the social climbing and rented red carpets in “The OC” these days, they were destined for the top.

It’s a dubious distinction at best. We’re guessing this study could have just as easily been titled “Cities with the Most Fashion Victims in America” and you’d end up with a pretty similar chart. There’s no need to dwell on it any further—chalk one up for all the bronzed trophy wives out there and move on.

This is a win we’ll happily concede.

—N.B.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Najib Benouar