Kempt is going on hiatus until the new year, so we thought we’d leave you with some musings on 2009 and a few forward-looking thoughts for 2010.

First, if you needed the year summed up for you in five minutes, in a concise but formally innovative manner, we’ve got you covered. This Google Wave runs down everything of interest—from Obama’s inaug to Usain Bolt’s world record—before presenting a few Waves discussing 2010. If you’ve got an invite, it’s not a bad way to ring in the New Year. We’ll see you on the other side.

The year in Google Wave form»

As you may have heard, Roman Polanski was arrested this weekend at the Zurich Film Festival, as part of an extradition planned by L.A. prosecutors. It’s a remarkable moment, for anyone who had grown used to Polanski’s French exile. Without defending the man, or appealing to traumatic life or his work as an excuse, it’s remarkable how much desire there still is in the L.A. prosecuter’s office to finally bring him to sentencing.

Fame works very differently in 2009 than it did in 1977, but a celebrity trial is still a celebrity trial. And if there’s one in the offing, not even 30 years and 6000 miles will stop it.

Hard times in London may have brought back the criminal world’s most dapper pastime: the jewel heist. Last week, a pair of well-tailored gentlemen relieved a Bond St shop of more than $65 million in jewelry before escaping in a blue BMW, which was subsequently traded for a silver Mercedes. And that’s only the most recent in a string of thefts that’s plagued London’s jewelry district for months, which suggests the days of the gentleman jewel thief may be returning.

Of course, we at Kempt do not endorse criminal pursuits. But as criminal pursuits go, we definitely prefer the ones that involve luxury cars, daring getaways and expensive suits. If we ever have to resort to extralegal activity, we hope we’ll do it with this much panache.

Obama’s display of pitching prowess at the all-star game last night has inspired quite a bit of commentary, but we’re more interested in his taste in denim. Fastball or no, those jeans did seem pretty…dad-ish.

To be fair, the man is old enough to wear dad jeans if he so chooses, but we can’t help wishing he went with something a bit hipper. He could still do the windup in skinnier jeans, and he wouldn’t have to worry about getting the wrong kind of Reagan comparison. As for the shoes…maybe they were worried Adidas would read as too European?

The fine folks at the Trojan company—to whom we owe so much—have indulged their inner Kinsey with a survey of American sexual activity, and the results are eye-opening to say the least. Major cities would appear to be in pretty dire sexual condition. Ranking city-by-city, Atlanta takes the crown as the most sexually satisfied city in America, with a 73% approval rating, beating out both New York and Los Angeles. Maybe it has something to do with the Underground?

More interestingly, Houston took first place by volume with an average of 101 incidents of luckiness every year. Atlanta managed 88, D.C. clocked in with 86, and Los Angeles and New York rolled over torpidly and contented themselves with 82 and 80 respectively. It might be time for a PSA campaign.

From time to time, a gentleman’s eyes may wander.

This is not to be taken as a sign of his character, but as an optic reflex that results in a momentary suspension of the higher faculties. Neither priests, eunuchs nor husbands are entirely immune. And all things considered, the eye is one of the less dangerous organs.

So let’s not embarrass anyone whose wife might be watching.

More than Microsoft or even Apple, Google has always been interested in blowing minds. So when they get into the OS racket, they do it with a web browser—apparently just to mess with us.

Late last night, Google announced their new Chrome OS, a stripped-down operating system based on Linux and promising to get the average computer booted up and onto the internet in a matter of seconds. Compared to Microsoft’s increasingly glacial startup times, it should be quite a jolt, and perfect for a new generation of web-based apps. Looks like their heads are still in the cloud.

Along with the rest of the internet, we’re taking a brief moment for Mr. Jackson.

For the past 25 years, he’s been one of the most broad-reaching cultural figures on the planet…for better and for worse. And while Thriller and “I Want You Back” are forever, it’s hard to ignore how limited the scope of his life was—limited by money and the suffocating effects of fame. More worthwhile thoughts can be found here, here and here but we’ll let Youtube speak for itself»

We’re not usually much for celeb-stalking, but we couldn’t help but note that Vice President and turtleneck enthusiast Joe Biden was just spotted on his way out of Barneys. Now we know where he gets those pocket squares.

Our dreams of owning MJ’s sequined glove were dashed today as Jackson succeeded in blocking Julien Auction House from auctioning off a few of his more awesome personal effects. Instead, the slate of items will be exhibited and then possibly shipped off to form a kind of Michael Jackson museum.

We’re going to contain our excitement, except to say this: a museum would easily be the best thing M.J.’s done since Dangerous. Consider us first in line.

Leafing through the Julien catalogs is bizarre enough—gaudy, heartbreaking, and creepy by turns—but seeing the items in person would be nothing short of amazing. Race, celebrity, childhood traumas and interior design trends all get mixed together into one glorious nouveau riche trainwreck that should beat anything you’ll find in the MoMa.

At least until they open up their pop culture wing.

The world of hipsters runs on an intricate, almost Victorian code, so it was only a matter of time before someone pulled a Barry Lyndon. And, somewhat predictably, that person was an Asian girl who pretended to work for Vice.

Ah, Brooklyn…

The whole story»

Charity has its rewards. Especially in London, it turns out.

At a hospital benefit, Kate Moss raised 5000 UKP by auctioning off a single kiss. Of course, the true value of Mme. Moss’s momentary affection is priceless, but in the interest of a well-funded health system, it’s worth knowing what the price tag came to. It should be enough to buy an extra defibrillator or two…

We can only imagine what the tab would have been in more flush times.

No sooner do we complement Kanye’s taste in denim than we hear his Yeeziness is planning a denim line of his very own.

It’ll be hard to top RRL, and the hipster/street divide is as difficult to bridge in fashion as it is in music. Then again, if anyone can bring the two camps together—possibly by sporting the perfect level of bagginess displayed in the picture at left—it’s Kanye. As legacies go, it wouldn’t be a bad one.

Let’s just hope it keeps him off the vocoder.

Is it us, or is PETA getting kind of wacky lately? We first noticed it with their bizarre hatecrush on the Olsen twins, but a few tin-eared pickets later, they seem to have gone completely off the rails.

Let us be perfectly clear: Protesting is one thing, but stealing George Clooney’s man musk to create a Cloon-flavored meat substitute is just creepy beyond words.

Perhaps more explanation is required»

If we were to write up a list of recession-proof commodities, nudity and beer would be pretty near the top. But apparently beer isn’t the staple it used to be, and nudity isn’t doing too well either.

Playboy lost $156 million last year, prompting the CEO of its parent company to say they were “open to discussions” on a sale. It’s the media equivalent of a fire sale…which makes us worry for the financial prospects of the Girls Next Door.

While Playboy has been rolling downhill for the past few decades, but it’s still jarring to think of a world without it. After all, you can’t hide a laptop under your mattress.

via LIFE

It’s tough to say what luxury looks like during hard times, but it’s a question fashion houses are going to have to answer one way or another. We’ve got a few ideas ourselves—most notably this one—but we imagine the Louis Vuitton folks have smarter minds than us working on this one as we speak.

The Choosy Beggar just weighed in with an answer we can get behind: sturdier, more durable clothes to last through whatever comes our way. This is what raw denim was reaching for, and it might be the only thing that would get modern consumers to drop serious money on clothing again. But after 15 years of churning out disposable duds, are labels ready to think long term?

Only time will tell.

Confidence can come from many places, but wearing a four-in-hand knot under a spread collar is not likely to inspire it. So next time you’re speaking before congress, it might be a good thing to double check.

Our theory is that Obama’s change brought a lot more spread collars into the West Wing, but their knot haven’t quite caught up. For the record, gentlemen, if you’re moving to a wider collar, you probably want to upgrade to a Windsor.

Alex Rodriguez has never been popular—at least not in New York—and this isn’t likely to help…but it’s worth considering what exactly we want from athletes.

Yankees in particular have been jittery, nervous creatures over the past few years, which has a lot to do with having some of the most vicious sportswriters in the country breathing down their necks, but the PR game of professional athletes has become too calculated to be likeable.

It’s so long ago that most ESPN-watchers wouldn’t remember, but the perfect athlete used to be called a “sport.” A sport was someone like Jack Johnson or Mickey Mantle who lived it up in his off-hours, dressed as flashy as they could, and generally made the full use of their ridiculous salary. Think wide lapels and diamond stickpins, as Randy Roberts would describe it, or the more recent NFL popularity of the plaid suit.

If he were a little flashier, we would have let A-Rod get away with a lot more.

Apparently Shepard Fairey has been busier than we thought. Not 24 hours after the AP took aim at him, the Boston police got in on the action at a local event honoring the storied graffiti artist and hauled off to the slammer for a few outstanding vandalism warrants.

Of course, this is hardly the first time Mr. Fairey has run afoul of the boys in blue, but it’s the first time it’s happened since he had any serious clout behind his name, and it’s hard to think of better outsider cred than getting arrested at your own gallery party.

In other words, despite what it looks like, we would say Shep’s having a very good week.

Recreational cloning cleared a big hurdle last week, when a grief-stricken Boca Raton woman cloned her dead Labrador for a price tag of $150,000. Clearly it’s not for everyone—or at least not at that price—but the possibilities are exciting.

School mascots can be kept alive indefinitely, guard dogs can genuinely be identical, and we can engineer a whole new ending for Old Yeller. But the most pressing question has yet to be answered: can you teach it new tricks?

No sooner did we start to gush about The Prisoner than we heard the sad news that Patrick McGoohan had passed on.

As you can see here, he was a gentleman of the old school, and understood the power of the sharp bow tie. Well played, sir.

We haven’t been keeping up with Carla Bruni and Nicolas Sarkozy much lately—to be honest, once they got married, we lost the spark—but a lucky documentarian is about to catch us up.

Tomorrow in Paris, the spectacularly fortunate Scottish filmmaker George Scott is premiering an 80-minute documentary on the couple that follows the French power couple from their first meeting through their eventual marriage, with apparently unrestricted access.

Naturally, it’s already tabloid fodder (via The Cut), but the surprising thing is how much access he seems to have gotten. Early reports have him filming the couple nuzzling and taking a tour of the Elysee palace. Anyone hitting the Parisian film festival circuit should feel free to drop us a line, but otherwise we’ll have to wait until it crosses the Atlantic.

At least somebody is getting a boost from the outgoing Bush administration, even if they happen to be in Istanbul.

After the hilarious shoe attack, Bloomberg is reporting that a Turkish firm called Baydan Shoes is facing overwhelming global demand for the Ducati 271, the model name of the fateful presidential projectile or, as it will henceforth be known, the “Bush Shoe.”

As presidential legacies go, he could do a lot worse. At least it’s not a croc.

By now, you’ve probably heard about President Bush’s run-in with a shoe hurler, but you might not know that a Manhattan Transit Worker tried a similar stunt against the MTA’s chief exec.

Of course, MTA workers have to wade through some real junk on occasion, so instead of some wornout brogue, he was trying to hurl a size 10.5 Red Wing boot—a pretty good choice, as projectiles go. Unfortunately, the boot was so massive, the cops got to him before he could get it unlaced.

But at least he went out in style.

We aren’t sure if you’ve noticed, but at some point in the last fifteen years, talking points entered the cable-news playbook, and at some point in the last five years they became all anyone paid attention to. Reporting on the campaign became tracking down the response to various catch-phrases, whether it’s “Drill Baby Drill” or “Brothers should pull their pants up.”

In that vein, some kind soul has compiled all the sound-bites of the election, from Hilary to Grandma Tut, and compiled them into a scrolling history of nine months worth of cable news cycles, entitled This Fucking Election.

For some reason, they seem frustrated.

We aren’t much for sartorial projections, but we guess that’s why there’s a pundit class. And Chris Matthews is always game.

The curmudgeonly MSNBC anchor recently predicted the Obama administration would feature “thin ties…Well-turned-out men. No sloppiness. Just work… It will be zesty.” We’re not sure what “zesty” means, so we’re assuming he’s talking about purple ties.

Of course, you can’t fight city hall. We’re hoping for change, but the three-inch tie is so ingrained in D.C. culture, it’ll be hard to wean them off it. The look is not exactly current these days, but it’s still way too trendy for the capitol.

Give it a decade or so.

via Slate

It’s hard to look good in the rain, but luckily we got some much-needed leadership from Mr. Obama.

Just make sure you’ve got a solid jacket. Don’t worry about a hat; that’ll just make you look like you’re hiding. Ignore the weather and get dramatic. You’re determined, you’re unflappable. You’re so in the moment, you don’t even notice the rain.

Of course, it helps if you’ve got a campaign staff waiting with a dry set of clothes.

Political endorsements come and go, but the most important one by far comes from England’s most globe-trotting, martini-sipping secret agent. Yes, we’re talking about the Bond endorsement.

Making the press rounds for Quantum of Solace, Daniel Craig has said that Obama would make a better Bond because he could “look the enemy in the eye and go toe-to-toe with them,” which we assume means he’s spry enough to chase some guy doing parkour. As for McCain, Craig says he’s more M material. “There is, come to think of it, a kind of Judi Dench quality to McCain.”

But he always seemed a little soft on SPECTRE.

In the wake of Palin’s shopping spree, we were glad to see Obama scoring points for having resoled his shoes along the campaign trail. Of course, the political blogs are spinning this as an example of Barry’s thrift, but we see it as the mark of a sartorially sensible gentleman. After all, if you liked a pair of shoes enough to wear them out in less than a year, you might as well hang onto them. And anyone with enough sense to buy welted shoes has our vote.

In other words, it’s just one of the many rewards of old world cobbling.

There’s been a lot of presidential merchandise, but beverages are only just starting to weigh in. This isn’t exactly Billy Beer, but we suppose times have changed to favor tea drinkers…

Pearl Fine Teas has launched dueling McCain and Obama teas, respectively a conservative black tea and a worldly African Red Bush Rooibos tea.

Remember friends, you only have a few weeks left to make McCain Cola a reality.

Although it may be outclassed by its French counterpart, the American Playboy is still good for something: science.

A pair of econometricians have pored through the Playboy archives with an eye to economic trends and confirmed a preexisting theory that in times of economic crisis—like now, for instance—men like their women a little taller, a little older, and a little more muscular. In short, we want farmer women to help us till the soil after the revolution comes.

We debate the merits of the farmer woman»

Emmanuel Dunand/AFP/Getty

There are a lot of rules for gentlemanly behavior. Some are made to be broken; others are not. One often-overlooked rule that falls into the latter category is this: A gentleman should never gesture with his tongue.

Based on the above, it should be obvious why.

The cereals are made by a couch-surfing service who wants hosts to serve them as a get-out-the-vote initiative. We’re not sure who’s being swayed by breakfast, but we’ll just come out and say it: we’ll vote for whichever one’s frosted.

We’ve given a lot of attention to the presidential candidates’ clothes, but maybe we should have been paying more attention to their bodies…

The New York Times has a graphic of the heights and ages of the presidential candidates for the last 29 elections. Apparently when there was a significant difference, height won out 17 out of 23 times, and girth won out 18 out of 24 times. It goes a long way towards explaining the Taft presidency, but it may have more to do with sartorial details than the Times realizes. We don’t remember the last president big enough to bust out the double-breasted suit, but we can’t think of an outfit more presidential than that.

Of course, Obama’s just a hair under 6’2”, more than half a foot taller than McCain, which might explain some of the recent poll numbers.

We’ve already picked out our favorite Obama tee, but a real bipartisan approach means you need to reach past the Threadless crowd to the big-belt-buckle-lovers down south. Which is where this comes in, we assume…

Getty Images

Last night’s debate offered one more chronicle of the political world’s baby steps towards stylish behavior. No, we’re not talking about Palin’s winks or Biden’s party-appropriate powder blue tie.

We’re talking about those chalk stripes.

Biden risked looking like a banker—a particularly dangerous move these days—and did the sartorial thing. We knew he was a well-dressed gentleman, but we’re impressed he had the clout to pull this one off. What’s next, wearing gray? Obama may be the first candidate who’s one-button suit material, and it’s nice to know he’s got someone adventurous to back him up.

Based on this picture, it looks like someone else is taking notice too.

Vano Shlamov/Agence-France Presse, Getty Images

As part of Kempt’s ongoing election coverage, we thought we’d take a closer look at the older, less-Alaskan part of tonight’s Vice Presidential festivities: Joe Biden.

The best recommendation of the man comes from this photo, a snap from his most recent Georgian trip. Not only does he pull off the navy-polo-on-navy-sport-coat look that’s a staple of most over-60 wardrobes and find time for a well-folded pocket square, but he manages to out-aviator the actual aviators.

That’s what we call leadership experience.

The recent presidential debate has been analyzed to death, but one enormous sartorial story went unreported. At this point, politicians’ only remaining outlet for personal style is their ties, but things can still get complicated, as they did Friday night.

In past years, the democratic candidate has worn a blue tie, while the Republican candidate wears a red, but this always made Bush come off as more dynamic and, well…visible.

This year, Obama broke the party line by choosing a patterned purple number, putting McCain in a potentially awkward position. He couldn’t stay with red or switch to blue without risking an awkward “twins” remark from moderator Jim Lehrer. Cornered, McCain took yet another stylistic chance and opted with a pencil-stripe tie, the first non-solid-color tie seen in American politics since the dandified days of Herbert Hoover.

A maverick indeed.

There aren’t many trustworthy faces left on television, and it looks like there is now one less.

One of the few newsmen on TV who managed to be trustworthy, genuinely informative and a true Washington insider, Russert handled himself with style and class through a number of trying situations, most recently the Judith Miller scandal. A consummate professional, he projected dignity and calm even when his surroundings suggested the opposite.

A more thorough obit can be found here.

In the old days, the drugs-and-whores memoir was a respected literary event. (I’m looking at you, McInerney.) But these days, talking too loudly about your days as a male escort is still enough to get your visa revoked.

Author of the well titled Dandy in the Underworld, Sebastian Horsley planned to have a U.S. book tour this month, but instead he got a charming eight-hour conversation with customs officials and an unceremonious flight back home. Apparently all that talk about opium and amphetamines was enough to invalidate Horsley’s travel waiver, leaving HarperCollins holding the bag. (You’d think Rupert could have pulled some strings…)

The further travails of Mr. Horsley»

Well, they certainly took their time.

It looks like our favorite couple has finally tied the knot, after a full month and a half of courtship. The ceremony took place Saturday at the Elysee palace, in the presence of twenty close friends, family members and adoring subjects. Sarkozy is the first sitting president ever to wed, but with his dashing sense of dress, he seems well-equipped to smooth over any difficulties.

Of course, we’re hardly surprised the couple finally made things official »

Carla Bruni, our favorite presidential paramour, is making headlines for appearing in the Spanish men’s magazine DT clothed only in a wedding ring. (The full pic is here.) Does this confirm rumors that she’s tied the knot with the well-attired fiscal conservative? Probably not, since the pictures in question could have been taken as early as August, and are certainly from before the couple went public in December. All we can say for sure is that for a 40-year-old woman, she certainly keeps in shape.

The couple’s whirlwind romance (with accompanying media waltz) is now entering its sixth week »

The latest news from the front regarding the Brad and Angelina of the international set has it that they may have already tied the knot. French daily L’Est Republicain is quoting a reliable source close to someone who claims to have attended our boy Nic’s secret nuptials last week at the Elysée palace. Apparently he sealed the deal with supermodel Carla Bruni after presenting her with a $30,000 white gold Dior ring.

Sarkozy’s office has issued a terse “no comment”»

Harper’s Bazaar

The mixed returns from the Iowa caucuses and the New Hampshire primary have put all the candidates at high alert as their see-saw returns have force them to go on the offensive, pointing out each other’s differences and shortcomings. Strangely, the frontrunners—no matter their location along the political spectrum have one thing in common: Nadja Auermann. Who’da thunk it?

The Politics of Fashion—Harper’s Bazaar (Hosted on Livejournal)

Our boy Nic sure is one fast mover. But then we guess when you’re president of France there’s no time to fuck around. Just two short weeks after we first told you that the Nicster was shacking up with supermodel Carla Bruni, one of the world’s most beautiful women and a talented singer to boot, weekly paper Le Journal De Dimanche is reporting that the couple plans to marry early next month.

More on the Nicster and his soon-to-be better half »

The Man in White may have been robbed of his rightful place on GQ’s “50 Most Stylish Men of the Past 50 Years” list, but his new book deal will buy a lot of consolation trips to the tailor. Tom Wolfe just pocketed nearly $7 mil in advance money for his next novel, Back to Blood, about “class, family, wealth, race, crime, sex, corruption, and ambition in Miami, the city where America’s future has arrived first.”

It’s quite a departure from his last book »

Kempt Kudos to our boy Nicolas Sarkozy, the fashion-savvy President of France who one-upped George Bush during a black-tie affair at the White House last month.

Sarkozy, who split from his wife a while back, was spotted out on the town with supermodel-turned-singer Carla Bruni (pictured) the other night in Paris—thereby

proving the ZZ Top coinage (and Sartorial Brotherhood credo) “Every girl’s crazy ‘bout a sharp-dressed man.”

Continue reading about Bruni and the Nicster »

After a close shave with obsolescence, things are looking up for Savile Row. Ozwald Boateng’s new 6,800-sq.ft. store opening there next month heralds the beginning of what many hope will be a new era for the beleaguered “bespoke couturiers,” who have banded together with local government and landlords to keep the spiritual home of British tailoring alive, Time magazine reports.

Read more about the grand plan…

With the once almighty dollar laid low, America’s leaders should be looking to bolster the nation’s standing with the international community wherever possible. But during last week’s visit to Washington by French President Nicolas Sarkozy, we were bested once again by a pesky Euro…