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You’re Finished in This Town


In a business that judges impoliteness pretty harshly, we’re kind of amazed Vincent Gallo hasn’t been run out of town yet. But we’re glad because it means that from time to time, we get to hear batshit rants like this.

Over the course of 39 minutes, Mr. Gallo manages to mortally insult Steven Soderbergh, Martin Scorcese, Wes Anderson, Abel Ferrera, Spike Jonze, Sofia Coppola, Francis Ford Coppola, Eric Roberts, Dennis Hopper, Honda, and the Directors Guild of America. To be honest, it’s pretty rough going—and decidedly ungentlemanly throughout—but it should be a cautionary tale of what an out-of-control ego can make you sound like.

A word to the wise: If you find yourself trash-talking the director of The Godfather—who, coincidentally, gave you your most recent starring role—you may want to reconsider yourself as a human being.

On the plus side, he has nothing but nice things to say about Mickey Rourke.

Take a Swing


Golf hasn’t produced much in the way of style innovations, but it may be catching up.

The first sign: this Saturday, a fledgling pro named Ricky Barnes caused a minor stir by doffing a white painter’s cap in place of the usual full brim. It wasn’t a huge shift, but in the stylistically shuttered world of golf, it was practically a paradigm shift. Of course, a few wags in the crowd took offense—presumably they’ve only ever seen one on the help—but we applaud it. If the up-and-comers aren’t willing to go out on a limb once in a while, golfers will be stuck in sheer polos forever.

The cap itself was a prototype from his sponsor, Wilson Staff, but they aren’t putting it on sale just yet. In the meantime, we might suggest doffing this more adventurous version...just wait until you’re safely on the course.

State Secrets


Everyone’s got a few photos kicking around that they’d prefer didn’t see the light of day. But apparently Carla Bruni has more than most. And they may have fallen into the wrong hands…

One of the French first lady's exes, Raphael Enthoven, was holding onto a few “highly intimate” mementos of their time together, but last night a group of highly motivated thieves broke into the apartment where the photos were being kept and made away with the priceless stills. It’s troubling news for anyone with an interest in state sovereignty and the sanctity of nude photography.

If the secret service can’t keep a few photos out of the limelight, what hope is there for the rest of us?

You Can’t Be Serious


We usually don’t involve ourselves in the art world’s various schemes and dealings, but when it happens to involve one of our favorite tennis greats, we’ll make an exception.

Apparently Mr. MacEnroe’s latest feat is bringing down an $88 million scheme run by an art dealer named Lawrence Salander. Salander was selling multiple shares of the same painting (think The Producers), but MacEnroe was the first to notice something fishy and call out Salander on the overall sketchiness.

Given that his other clients included Robert DeNiro, it’s no small thing that McEnroe was the first one willing to blow the whistle. Just a reminder: sometimes a fiery temperament can come in handy.



Angry outbursts never look good, but we’re going to have to call this one as fair play. Or at least not obviously foul.

A true gentleman would have exercised a little more politeness, but frustration is just a byproduct of passion, and passion is always a good thing. Hundreds of actors would have let a few slips from the crew slide, and in the process accepted less from the movie and less from themselves. Much as the gossip press wishes it were otherwise, there’s no shame in caring about what you do.

Even if it means getting a little unkempt.

Clearing the Mind


Doping has been a known staple of Soviet sports since the famous Drago-Balboa fight, but lately even chess has come under suspicion.

Der Spiegel (via Neatorama) is seizing on Grandmaster Vassily Ivanchuk’s refusal to take a drug test at the recent Chess Olympiad as reason to suspect the chess world of being driven by something more sinister than just caffeine and neurosis. They even have a picture of him suspiciously fingering his nose!

Why we aren’t worried»

Thread of Truth


Political corruption is such a tradition in Chicago, it has developed its own dress code. Sixty years ago, it was the pinstripe, and while the mobster suit has gotten more subtle, it hasn’t gone away.

In light of the recent difficulties, we thought we’d point out where the trouble started. Look closely at Rod Blagojevich’s choice in fabrics: Would you trust a senate seat to a man with those checks?

We rest our case.

Oh, Lydia


Erstwhile Kemptress Lydia Hearst has apparently run into a spot of bother over her Page Six column, *The Hearst Chronicles*. Specifically, whether or not she really earned that byline

It started with a tiff over *The Hearst Chronicles*’ dissing of Hearst Media’s recession-inspired cancellation of their Christmas party. Apparently that was one tidbit Ms. Hearst wished she could un-ghostwrite, so she turned on her Page Six masters, who in turn revealed the whole façade.

The news may not shock anyone else, but we’re devastated. Lydia, we fell in love with your words! Was it all a lie?