One of these things is not like the others.

Two of these mustaches are perfectly respectable Schwartzman-esque lip coverings, happy to live out Movember with respect for their coworkers and deference to the state.

The third one (that’s him on the left) has turned the corner of the lips and is making a break for the border of the chin, where he will buy a motorcycle and make a living selling opium to tourists. And when the month of mustache ends, he might just decide to stick around.

Choose wisely.

—R.B.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Russell Brandom