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These pants are living a lie.

From across the room (or across the internet), they look like honest, god-fearing denim. But as soon as you see someone walk across the room in them—or worse, actually touch the things—you’ll notice the unmistakeable pillowy drape of your sartorial mortal enemy.

Sweatpants. We meet again.

Normally, we’d write it off as a harmless joke, but we can’t shake the possibility that someone will wear these and think they’re actually fooling someone. Have we learned nothing from jeggings?

—R.B.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Russell Brandom