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It’s hard living in a post-Snuggie world. Every garment in the modern arsenal is in danger of being replaced by a fleece-stitched curio, emerging seemingly at random from the troubled collective consciousness. What rough beast slouches towards QVC to be born?

This time, it’s called the Neckie, and it solves the intractable problem of loose, dangling scarves, prone to getting stuck in car doors, dangling loosely out of jackets, and (presumably) catching on fire near open flames. The solution? A fully adjustable fuzz bib. Also available in leopard print.

We could say something here about how the loose scarf ends are ideal for plugging up topcoat seams, how a little roaming bulk can come in extremely handy when winter sets in…but somehow, we doubt prospective Necky customers will listen to reason. Just say no, kids.

—R.B.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Russell Brandom