May 21, 2012 world of men's style / fashion / grooming RSS
“Bad Idea”
03/20/09
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Bad Idea

Accessory After the Fact

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For a heritage brand, Dunhill’s been a little shaky lately.

Take, for instance, their latest lighter design. It’s modeled after the lighter Elvis used in the 50s, and not a bad specimen as Elvis-related trinkets go. With a history going all the way back to the 1890s, Dunhill’s well-equipped to take on this particular historical reissue, but the whole enterprise seems unhealthy somehow.

It’s not Elvis himself—although taking on his legacy is a hefty task—but the overwhelming sense that they’ve somehow gotten into the souvenir business…

Perhaps we should elaborate»

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03/19/09
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Bad Idea

The Lunatic Fringe

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We like to think we’re fighting back the ridiculous here at Kempt, but occasionally we see something that tests our faith in the underlying sanity of the fashion industry.

They just never learn, do they?

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03/17/09
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Bad Idea

Dogs of War

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All luxury eventually curdles into self-parody, as Karl Lagerfeld can attest. And when it does, it’s never pretty.

But by the time you’re putting a bowtie and leopard print shorts on a dog, the game is pretty much over. What happened, Cavalli?

Then again, when you start being name-checked in rap songs, turning to canine fashion may be the only sensible move left.

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03/16/09
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Loose Threads: Veil Edition

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We’re used to seeing this sort of thing on runways, but when it goes retail, we feel compelled to sound the alarm bells before some fashion-forward lady friend of ours makes an impulse buy and finds herself looking at the world through her own personal beaded curtain.

In all sincerity: If you wear this, you will trip and hurt yourself.

And possibly jingle when you walk.

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03/05/09
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Loose Threads: DIY Edition

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Your portfolio may be down the tubes, but we implore you not to follow it. Keep your composure when all about you are losing theirs! Remain kempt in the face of unkemptness. Retain sartorial virtue.

And do not, under any circumstances, wear slippers you’ve cut from a sheet of velco-enhanced felt.

Please.

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02/25/09
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Bad Idea

In Control

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Male corsets have been around for longer than we like to consider, and it’s no surprise that they’ve come up with more modern versions.

But a few things haven’t changed. A gut is a gut, and you’re always better off celebrating it. In Shakesperean times or today, a corset is a bad idea.

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02/19/09
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The Great Rock ‘N Roll Swindle

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Thirty years down the line, it’s hard to stay mad over punk rock being coopted by marketing agencies…but somehow Diesel has managed to step over the line.

This year’s marketing mis-step»

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02/18/09
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The Pretenders

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The beards of the past are always likely to cause beard envy in the younger, more stubbly generations. It’s a common phenomenon that Freud referred to as “The Bunyan Complex.”

But trust us, knitting facial hair is not the answer.

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02/18/09
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The King is Dead

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Of course, if JFK isn’t quite your speed, there’s always more recent royalty to pick through. For instance, the king of pop.

Michael Jackson has fallen on hard times lately—after all, lawyers ain’t cheap—and he’s putting a few of his less essential purchases up for auction. The result is a peek behind the scenes at one of pop culture’s strangest creations, sequins and all. For a good chunk of the 80s, the glittering epaulette look was the coolest thing anyone had seen. The plastic aviators may be the only thing that survived.

We sift through Michael Jackson’s leftovers»

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02/17/09
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Bad Idea

Crash Course

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You might think Fashion Week would be drama enough, but there’s always room for a little more.

FashionIndie President Daniel Saynt just cancelled all the site’s upcoming events, video premieres, and a good chunk of their Fashion Week coverage, and announced a lawsuit against the New York Observer. The lawsuit is in response to a catty lead paragraph from last week’s paper that called them out on crashing fashion week events…but don’t worry if things don’t quite add up. It’s not just you.

Frankly, we thought Saynt & Co. took pride in the occasional gatecrash, but calling off their own parties smacks of desperation and—even worse—thin skin. Calling in a lawyer is the weakest play in the book, and it’s simply not the blogger way. If you can’t take a jab or two from a broadsheet, how are you going to survive Gawker?

For goodness sakes, this is the internet.

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02/12/09
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Love is Hell

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Like all country-tinged bloggers, we have nothing but good things to say about the impending nuptials of singer/actress Mandy Moore and former Blackbook intern Ryan Adams, but we thought we’d take this opportunity to offer him some style advice, hopefully in time to keep the wedding pictures from being too embarrassing.

There’s a fine line between embracing your inner ’92 and just wearing a Kurt Cobain costume every day. And bleached hair is probably where you cross that line.

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02/11/09
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It Beats Working

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Runway fashion is easy to mock… so what the hell, let’s give it a go.

Best Week Ever has summed up the S/S 09 runway season with a set of 25 models forced to dress outside any normal conception of dignity. There are a few missteps, particularly the inclusion of an impeccably dressed older gentleman, but otherwise it’s a pretty good census of the most ridiculous and downright off-putting getups to grace this year’s runways.

See our favorites»

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02/06/09
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Poorly Pressed

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Although he’s made a few questionable calls, there’s still a lot of good will behind Shepard Fairey, especially when he’s helping out the newly minted prez. But now that the flush of the election is over, the Associated Press has decided to take a few shots.

Gentlemen, light your torches»

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02/02/09
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Thanks, Boss

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We have a lot of love for Bruce Springsteen, so it’s hard for us to see him flub a crotch slide on national TV. But if we were to take one lesson away from the experience, it would be the following: never do anyhing that might end up reenacted on YouTube.

See the reenactment in question»

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02/02/09
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Who Writes the Songs

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Now that Guitar Hero and Rock Band have catapulted music into the video game sphere, everyone’s getting in on the game…and the results are getting pretty ugly.

Microsoft Songsmith, for instance, is meant to make songwriting accessible to everyone with a computer and a non-metallic ear, but it’s turned into a near-endless supply of 90s soft-rock shmaltz. And, unfortunately for Mr. Gates, it’s far better as comedy than music.

The result is a long string of previously beloved songs—“Creep,” “Roxanne,” and “Beat It,” for a start—digitally chewed up and spat out until almost unrecognizable. But a good music video always helps…

Let the YouTubing begin»

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01/29/09
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Loose Threads: Glam Edition

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It’s one of the less useful rules of style, but worth remembering: If you’re a rock star, you can get away with just about anything. There are still limits though, and these boots might just fall outside them.

Made for Justin Tranter of the Semi-Precious Weapons, they’re a size 12 with a patent leather model still in the works. We love glam rock as much as the next guy, but the trick is usually to come off like an androgynous alien, not a cross-dressing off-duty policeman.

And it’s not 1972 anymore.

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01/27/09
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Untied

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Now that the cultural novelty of the iPod has worn off, we’re left with a lot of distant-looking people in public places. We aren’t suggesting you start talking to people on the subway—we’re not crazy—but disengaging from the world is rarely an attractive thing, and probably best kept private and unadvertised, like knitting or watching Heroes.

All of which means you’d do best to keep it off your tie.

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01/21/09
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Loose Threads: Stain Edition

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Making fun of high-fashion shows is usually pretty close to shooting fish in a barrel. They know it’s ridiculous; that’s the point. But while we’re willing to let the occasional rubber butcher outfit slide, we felt compelled to bring this particular Alexander McQueen outfit to light.

Usually, when you want to capture a thought in clothing form, you don’t want the thought to be “did he have chowder for lunch?”

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01/12/09
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Disobey

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We have officially turned on Shepard Fairey. It took a lot, but he’s finally soured us on the idea of him ever doing anything at all.

It took a lot. His early work was so interesting, he’s paved the way for a lot of more interesting street art, and let’s face it: the Obama poster buys a lot of good will. But he’s finally run through the last bits of it.

How he lost us»

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01/09/09
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Hem and Haw

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Worn-in jeans have been the target of enough abuse over the years, but the chino—their more work-appropriate cousin—gets by with an equally egregious offense. Ladies and gentlemen, check your hems.

At some point, it because standard practice to pre-distress hems, for more or less the same reason as jeans. The result seems more authentic and worthwhile, but it’s neither. These particular hems are courtesy of J. Crew, but they’re hardly alone in wearing out hems a little early.

Allow us to say, as the voice of reason: stop it. Please just stop it. Stop it.

Thank you.

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01/07/09
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Tool of the System

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Now that the inauguration’s in sight, Obama’s sartorial honeymoon may be coming to a close. It started with the Magnificent Bastard noticing some of his latest style choices including some decidedly Clintonian golfwear—hardly change we can believe in.

So far we’re inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt, just like on his cabinet picks. But if he starts wearing Crocs and reading the National Review, we’ll know we’re in trouble.

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01/02/09
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Dear in Headlights

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Being men of the world, we tend not to look to Dear Abby for sartorial advice. And this week, we were reminded why.

In Wednesday’s paper (via The Cut), she took up the question of a Pennsylvania man who, as he delicately puts it, “wears skirts for comfort.” Her advice? “As long as you have the testicular fortitude and shapely enough legs to wear skirts, then you have my blessing.” Oh dear…

The case in full»

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12/30/08
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The Super

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Anyone who’s passed through a multiplex has a good understanding of the rules of superheroism, but it’s usually confined to on-camera antics. And they’re usually somewhere a bit more glamorous than rural Arizona.

The most recent Rolling Stone has a quasi-exposé about the phenomenon of “reals,” grown men who don self-designed costumes to fight the forces of evil…which usually means local purse-snatchers and the occasional drug dealer.

We’re not going to fault them for doing a little amateur police work in their spare time, and a secret identity can come in handy for lots of reasons, but did they really need the costumes? Nobody questions the occasional good Samaritan, but when you start strapping on shin-guards and ordering a SUPRHRO vanity plate, you’ve gone too far. As the Dark Knight so memorably put it, “I’m not wearing hockey pants.”

Rolling Stone defends the Justice Force»

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12/03/08
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A Voice from Beyond

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Clint Eastwood’s amazing for a lot of reasons (a more long-winded explanation of his greatness is available here), but his singing voice was never part of the package. And 78 is probably not a good age to start up.

For his upcoming film Gran Torino, he’s putting his tortured pipes on full display over the closing credits. The result could most flatteringly be described as “whispery,” but Vulture’s description—“Tom Waits with a punctured lung”—is probably also valid.

Listen here

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11/24/08
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The Bad Shepard

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He may not realize it, but Shepard Fairey is one of the most promising artists of his generation. We can’t think of any American street artists who have managed as thorough an urban transformation as he has in New York, and his Obama poster is easily one of the most iconic images produced by any artist in over a decade. He deserves a cash-in or two; we just wish he could have made it a little more tasteful.

Fairey launched the OBEY clothing store today, and it’s genuinely abysmal. It’s a thrown together assortment of sub-Urban Outfitters schlock that treats Fairey’s meticulously collected phrases as if they were a brand on the level of Bugs Bunny, ready to be silkscreened onto sweatshirts en masse without any attention to actual style or design.

In every item, it’s obvious that Fairey has absolutely no interest in becoming a viable clothing designer. Which is fine by us. We just wish he could have stuck to gallery sales.

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