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It is an established rule that the farther Karl Lagerfeld ventures outside the stabilizing influence of Paris, the more troubled and chaotic he becomes. Driven mad by weight loss, he’s capable of anything, so when we heard he was headed to Dubai—which seems to occupy its own sphere of madness—we got very, very worried.

Apparently Big K has been contracted to build 80 homes on Dubai’s *Isla Moda*, a fashion-specific outcropping of The World, a man-made island. Each house will likely be decked out in Chanel-ery, fitting with Dubai’s ultra-luxe tendencies, but we can’t help but wonder why Karl got the nod.

Look deep into his eyes. Do you really want to buy a house from this man?

Lagerbear’s statement, after the jump:

The metamorphosis of art and beauty is my passion. The discovery of contemporary mediums of expression has allowed me to pursue my interest in art, beauty, architecture and progressive cultural exchange. Dubai is a fashion bud on the verge of blossoming into the next fashion hub of the world. The city is alive with culture and rich in personality, making it a perfect place for aesthetic, fashion and design to flourish. Isla Moda has tremendous potential to be the style icon of the future and I intend on driving the island to high style stardom.

We’re still waiting on word from Fake Karl.

—R.B.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Russell Brandom