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We like patent loafers. We like espadrilles. But there is a larger issue at stake here, and we’re resisting the temptation to make it in all caps:

You can’t just mash together random shoes. Honestly.

We realize this is cheeky and deconstructivist and all those things, but there is no plausible reason for anyone to ever wear this shoe, other than to bask in the fact that they’re wearing something nonsensical. It’s even worse because jute soles are actually a cool thing if you’re dressing one notch above barefoot. But if you put a heel on them—or any material you don’t want to get sand on—they just look silly and pointless.

Kind of like this.

—R.B.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Russell Brandom