The Kempt Lab Report: Recipe for Men
As you’ve probably realized—what with the dry patches, chapped lips and other little tortures this winter has forced you to endure—the cold can be a real bitch on your skin.
So we thought it would be in your best interest to call in the experts from up north and try out Recipe for Men, a highly scientific battery of weather-defensive skin care out of Sweden, “tested in the extreme conditions of the Scandinavian climate” and slowly making its way onto American stock lists. Because if it can really endure the Arctic Circle, it should be good enough for your walk to work.
Our full diagnostic breakdown, now:
Materials: 1 x Recipe for Men Facial Scrub 1 x Recipe for Men Facial Cleanse 1 x Recipe for Men SPF 15 Moisturizer 1 x Recipe for Men Facial Moisturizer 2 x Recipe for Men Under Eye Patches
Procedure: Subject’s prior skin care products—i.e., bar soap and a neglected bottle of over-the-counter moisturizer—were replaced with Recipe for Men products, and he was instructed to follow package directions exactly. This new regimen was maintained for a total of three days. After the third day, a survey concerning the experience was administered.
Observations: Though initially overwhelmed by the product selection, and despite his unfamiliarity with such regimented facial care, the subject was markedly upbeat concerning the alteration of his daily routine. In fact, he expressed delight at the “warm, soothing” scent of the products, especially that of the “sunscreen-reminiscent” SPF 15 Moisturizer. Even the Under Eye Patches gained his favor in time; he maintained that they “woke up his eyes.”
Conclusions: After a full course of treatment, the subject claimed to have seen no apparent difference. His significant other, in contrast, admitted to a marked reduction in the subject’s “average daily swarthiness” (ADS) and an increase in predisposition to touching his face. The subject promptly inquired about further product testing.
Sounds like an endorsement to us.