The Good, the Bad and the Handsome from September’s Men’s Mags
- Kempt Staff
Every month, we thoroughly examine the contents of your favorite men’s magazines, like GQ, Esquire and Details, so you don’t have to. The breakdown—starring Chrissy Teigen, Dan Bilzerian, mod suits, at least one nipple ring and more—now.
Page Count GQ: 282 Esquire: 204 Details: 220
GQ: Adam Driver dressed like Han Solo.
Esquire: America’s sweetheart, Chris Pratt, dressed like America’s upper-middle-management.
Details: Idris Elba shirtless in a peacoat emoting Stringer Bell levels of intensity.
GQ: “The new formula is Slim + Slim + Kinda on the Looser Side.” Also, it would seem that if you buy anything this fall that doesn’t have a checked pattern, you’re doing it wrong. And they’ve got a British boy band running around in mod-ish suiting. (Coincidentally, a September must-have.)
Esquire: They dedicated most of their style ink to traveling cross-country, looking for lesser-known men’s shops and stylish guys living in places like Benton, Arkansas, and Flagstaff, Arizona. Kind of like an haute-normcore spread.
Details: Never afraid to get super-luxe, their watch recommendations for fall range from the $176,300 Patek Phillipe Chronograph to the $3,100 Tudor Heritage Black Bay. (Everything else is between 10 and 40 grand.) They’re also pushing the mod revival, but also: “The line between weekday and weekend dressing is blurrier than ever.”
GQ: Jessica Hart, the Aussi heir apparent to Elle Macpherson and Miranda Kerr. Also apparent: a nipple ring under her mesh bra. Bright future indeed.
Esquire: Chrissy Teigen gets the headlining gig with opening acts from Connie Britton and Caitlin Fitzgerald from Masters of Sex.
Details: Nobody of note, though the profile on Instagram-famous Dan Bilzerian is littered with his bikini-clad accomplices. That definitely counts.
GQ: Milan is no longer just the industrial fashion capital it once was—it’s recently livened up with shopping, restaurants, bars and, naturally, a good tailor or two. Chicago is now officially the greatest place in America to get your drink on.
Esquire: An impassioned plea for Cadillac to actually build their concept car “The Elmiraj.” And the cross-country style trip. Surprisingly, Ohio seems to have a few more good men’s shops than you’d expect.
Details: They visit Montreal with the Peart brothers of Want Les Essentiels. Probably the only Francophone country where you can buy a street taco. Sounds like a cool place.
GQ: They had three smart (and sexy) women smell-test six new colognes out this fall and, somewhat surprisingly, Lacoste Live seemed to be the crowd favorite.
Esquire: Apparently your hair needs sunscreen the way your skin does during the summer—but don’t use actual sunscreen, use something like Aveda’s Sun Care Protective Hair Veil. Or, of course, a hat.
Details: Chances are, the different scents of your grooming products aren’t coordinating the way they should be: if your cologne is woodsy, find a pomade that’s also in that fragrance genre. Same goes for shampoos, body wash, just about everything you’re letting touch your skin.
GQ: The new rules of chivalry basically boil down to: be a normal person around the opposite sex.
Esquire: Being polyamorous is deeper than just being a swinger because you feel “compersion,” which is like a mashup of “compassion” and “perversion” or something. Anyway, whatever gets you through the day, right?
Details: Dan Bilzerian’s advice to Tim Tebow when they were both at University of Florida: “Tebow looks at me with puppy-dog eyes and goes, ‘Do you think this means she likes me?’ I go, ‘Timmy, buddy, you could take her to McDonald’s and bang her in the bathroom before you’ve even touched your McChicken is what that means.’”
Food and Drink
GQ: David Chang applauds the new breed of tasting menu that isn’t overwhelming—he’s thrown up too many times in the past—and is increasingly a better option for the non-hardcore food lover.
Esquire: The United States of Sandwiches continues their cross-country theme (they really made the most of their travel budget this month). Next time you’re in Louisville, order a Hot Brown.
Details: Stuff with probiotics like yogurt and ginger beer will make you healthier and sharper—and could be the key to shedding a few unwanted pounds.
GQ: The cover story is on Adam Driver, who for the most part seems a lot like his character on Girls (not that we’d admit to watching it). But the real gem is this brief profile on Jeff Goldblum. He’s everything you’d expect—plus a jazz pianist—and seems like a fun dude to hang out with.
Esquire: They visit Chris Pratt on location in New Orleans. He commandeers an airboat, glad-hands in bars and generally seems like the sort of star that’s not letting celebrity change him. Because, of course. He’s Andy Dwyer.
Details: Idris Elba is a bona fide movie star and always has been—though he’s just recently getting that recognition. Also: he’s shirtless in every photo. You know how movie stars are.