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Soylent George


Is it us, or is PETA getting kind of wacky lately? We first noticed it with their bizarre hatecrush on the Olsen twins, but a few tin-eared pickets later, they seem to have gone completely off the rails.

Let us be perfectly clear: Protesting is one thing, but stealing George Clooney’s man musk to create a Cloon-flavored meat substitute is just creepy beyond words.

The animal rights crusaders managed to get hold of one of Clooney’s gym towels, and are now publicly asking for permission to use his sweat to concoct a kind of leading-man bouillabaisse. And, for some puzzling reason, they think this will make tofu more appealing. According to PETA:

The technology actually exists to take your perspiration and make it into George Clooney-flavored tofu (CloFu). Of course, your fans would swoon at the idea of eating CloFu.

Actually, we’re not so sure. Just because people enjoy seeing Clooney in paparazzi photos doesn’t mean they want to devour him in bean curd form. The PR blunder here comes down to a basic misunderstanding of the meat-eating public. Just because we enjoy a pork chop now and then doesn’t mean we’re getting in line for cannibalism.