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Kempt’s 5′7" and Under All-Stars

No one paid much attention to Spud Webb at the 1986 NBA Slam Dunk competition. At 5′7", he was (and remains) the shortest player ever to compete in the contest. The rest of the field dwarfed him by over a foot. Even Dominique Wilkins, Webb’s teammate and the reigning slam-dunk champion, brushed Spud aside. “I don’t think he’s ever seen me dunk before,” Webb said in a pregame interview. Then he did the following:

An elevator two-handed double-pump dunk, a one-handed off-the-backboard jam, a 360-degree helicopter one-handed dunk, a 180-degree reverse double-pump slam and a 180-degree reverse two-handed strawberry jam from a lob bounce off the floor, the latter two of which received perfect 50-point scores in the final round to bring home the gold.

We have no control over how tall we stand—height is fixed from the start. How we stand, though (or soar, in Mr. Webb’s case) is measured in stature. And stature knows no bounds. With that in mind, we proudly present:

The 5′7" and Under All-Stars...

I’ll tell you one thing, it’s a cruel, cruel world. —Danny DeVito

Give me a museum and I’ll fill it. —Pablo Picasso

I just wanted to be an ordinary parish priest. —Martin Scorsese

I go without sleep, I just go hard. —Tom Cruise

It’s no fun to protest on an empty stomach. —Michael Bloomberg

People say I can’t do something and then I do it, and they don’t say nothing. —Spud Webb

What other people think about me is not my business. —Michael J. Fox

I failed to make the chess team because of my height. —Woody Allen

If you really want to be a star, we can do it in your mama’s car. —Prince

He meant “all-star”...