There are ties. And there are power ties. And then there are pieces of treated cloth you just happen to tie around your neck. These are the latter.
They come from White Horse Trading Co, a Hickoree-esque outfit dealing in 10-ounce duck cloth and patterns you’re used to seeing in a jacket lining.
Our gameplan: pick up the darkest one they’ve got, and iron it until it looks like it’s 80 years old. And don’t venture beyond the half-windsor.