…for that matter, so is your Andy Warhol watch and your Andy Warhol T-shirt, tote bag, sneakers and snowboard.

You whittled the neighbor’s kid an Andy Warhol big wheel for no particular reason, so it’s safe to say his parents will be keeping a closer eye on you, and you’ve been patiently waiting for just the right woman to come along who will appreciate that Andy Warhol dress you’ve been storing in mothballs for years, along with the hip, snappy alternative, if such a thing exists in the world of old-timey soup can apparel. The problem, of course, is that dates have been ending prematurely of late, ever since you dropped the hammer on the duvet-slash-bedside lamp combo.

This is all to say: take a pass on the Andy Warhol range hood. We’re begging you. Because the Campbell’s Soup schwag is in grave danger of doing to Mr. Warhol what Evita and the Che Guevara shirt did for badass Cubans everywhere.

It’s time to build your own factory.

—C.B.S.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • C. Brian Smith