You did it. You won the holidays.

It wasn’t easy—it was a long and arduous journey filled with upgrading your kitsch and making a tough decision about wearing a Santa hat. It was all part of our inaugural Kempt Guide to Winning the Holidays (trademark still pending).

But before you begin resting on your noble fir laurels until next year, we’d like to revel in the jubliant memories of how it all went down.

 
First you prepared yourself mentally and physically by upgrading your holiday kitsch. (You’re going to miss starting off your days with that whiskey advent calendar.)

 
Then you stocked up on hostess gifts that weren’t a boring old bottle of wine.

 
You steeled your resolve for any holiday meal misshaps resulting in sending back your food at a restaurant.

 
You attended your holiday party and got drunk with your boss without looking like a goddam hobo.

 
Then proceeded to continue indulging and spread the holiday spirit by doing some drunken caroling.

 
We helped you wade through all of the menswear gift guides. You bought beautiful things.

 
You did all of your shopping in one fell swoop: going long on a dozen robes—or a case of mugs with your face on them—and doled them out accordingly.

 
You bathed your place in the resplendent smell of a wintry candle.

 
You built yourself the luxurious, stately, money-is-no-object snow gentleman your holidays deserve. (And held on to that hand-carved pipe for later.)

 
You jammed out to the ultimate holiday party playlist, consisting only of holiday soul, rock, synthesized ballads and rap about curiously jolly fat men, chestnuts roasting and semi-indecent proposals under the pretense of it being cold outside.

 
And hopefully you caught a stylish holiday flick or two.

Okay, now you can go ahead and kick back on those laurels.

CONTRIBUTORS

  • Kempt Staff